What should we, man, gives to woman ?
Well, earlier in April 2006, i wrote a post with title "unconditional love". (it can be found here : http://eighterz.blogspot.com/2006_04_01_eighterz_archive.html ..btw)
one comment from girl88 makes me interested. she said in the bottom of her comment "Kalo ukuran buat cowo apaan dung,masa cewe doang yang disorotin, sih ?".
To think of it, i must confess that i rarely dwell on "man".
So, since then, i try to gathered what exactly that a girl/woman search from a guy/man.
Here is my conclusion till now :
From man, a woman always looking for :
1. Safety/Secure feeling.
2. Comfort feeling.
3. Cheeriness/fun feeling.
4. Loyalties
5. Maturity
6. Good potential future (not always must a rich guy/man)
Most of my correspondents, said, if they can find a man that has all these 6 things, by their own subjective judgement, they will most probably fall in love with him. The one that they looking for.
A playboy, they said, can give us no 2, and no 3 only and sometimes no 6. i agree with that.
more over, i put loyalties in no 4, becoz most of them also agree that loyalties also depends to them.
correspondents : umm... maybe about 50-60 girl/woman. I also ask questions in some forum on internet, 3 colleges, my mother's friends, my relatives etc. I also used deductive method in a lot of real life cases, and also from girl/woman magazines (someone gnawing that i turned feminine becoz of this).
Timeline : 4 months.
Vision and Mission : nothing, just curious. :)
Pertinence level : don't know, judge by yourself, this is not a paper project btw.Whether you will Believe it or not, i don't truly care.
8erz '06
9 comments:
Seorang cew penakut,
tetap saja seorang penakut,
sekalipun dia punya cow pemberani.
Why ?
karena setiap orang menciptakan
'hantu'nya sendiri masing-masing
dalam dirinya masing-masing
yang ditakutinya sendiri mati2an.
Seorang cew
yang gak punya hati ikhlas/bersih,
gak akan bisa bahagia,
karena dia kan selalu mencipta bermacam alasan dan kcemburuan
yang membuatnya tak bisa bahagia,
sekalipun dia menikah dengan
cow yang bisa merasa bahagia.
Sungguh aneh mahluk manusia itu,
terhebat karena punya daya cipta,
tapi dia malah menciptakan
segala hal yang justru malah
membuat dirinya ketakutan,
hidup penuh kekuatiran/cemas,
membuat dirinya gelisah dan
tak bisa merasa bahagia
Saya pikir n rasa sih,
apa yang cew inginkan dari cow
adalah suatu keadaan dimana
kombinasi sifat cew dan cow itu
akan cukup sinkron n harmonis,
sehingga akan timbullah rasa-rasa
aman, tenang, dst dsb itu
dalam kehidupan mereka berdua
Justru melebur bersama nya itu
yang paling syusyah, euy !!
Ini dia yang kumaksud By their own subjective judgement. perasaan nyaman yang dicari, misalnya, akan berbeda-beda sesuai karakter, pengalaman, latar belakang tiap perempuan.
Btul, sungguh aneh manusia itu, dia bahkan kadang tidak sadar, bahwa apa yang dia takuti sebenarnya cuma ciptaannya sendiri. bahwa sebuah keadaan yang dia sesali justru karena keadaan yang dia ciptakan sendiri.
oleh karena itu, jangan jadi manusia yang biasa aja dong. jadilah manusia yang bisa membedakan anggapan dia sendiri dan fakta, jadilah manusia yang mengerti kata hatinya sendiri, jadilah manusia yang tidak membohongi diri sendiri, atau setidaknya, saat dia membohongi dirinya sendiri, dia tahu kalau dia membohongi dirinya sendiri dengan alasan tertentu.
8erz'06
.....comment baru.....
well,,, itu kan kriteria yg ideal? kenyataannya, cukup beberapa poin terpenuhi juga, itu udah cukup nyenengin lho. Klo ada ce yg emang nemuin semua poin itu di dalam diri co-nya. Wow,, anda sangat beruntung..^^
Kayanya pertama-tama adalah apakah seorang ce itu sendiri sudah menemukan semua point itu dalam dirinya sendiri
Setelah itu, barulah dia cari co
yang bisa sinkron (berpadu harmonis, kata gadisdesa) dengannya
Yang penting kayanya, masing-masing diri harus menjadi diri yang "berbahagia" dulu, kemudian dia cari pasangan yang juga "berbahagia" dan mereka berdua akan menjajagi apakah kebersamaan mereka berdua akan ber"reaksi kimia" yang hasil reaksi paduan-nya ternyata membahagiakan mereka berdua, ataukah tidak.
Bisa aja ternyata mereka berdua tidak cocok sifat, sehinggga mereka jadi pasangan yang tidak berbahagia, khaan ?
Yaa, tapi kan sekalipun diri aku bahagia tapi cowoku kacau-balau, gimana daku bisa bahagia ?
Hehehe...kebahagiaanmu adalah justru bila kamu putus dengan cowo itu, terima saja bahwa kamu telah salah pilih, dan kamu koreksi dengan cara memutuskan untuk memilih yang lain
Maksudku, jangan mengharapkan kebahagiaan dari orang lain atuh, karena letak kebahagiaan itu mah justru bukan diluar diri kita, setuju ?
....
Setiap orang boleh 'seenaknya' menentukan siapa orang yang disukainya.
Apa... itu salah? Kurasa selama kita terus berusaha jadi orang yang lebih baik, yang namanya jodoh pasti ada.
Jangan liat suatu masalah secara keseluruhan, nanti kamu kencing duluan.
@ anin
Untuk bisa "lebih baik" bagi calon pacar, orang yang disukai, atau mungkin malah pacar kita sekarang,
ada bagusnya juga untuk mengetahui apa yang sebenarnya mereka cari dari kita.
Tidak harus melengkapi kesemua prasyarat yang ditulis,(kita memang akan terkencing-kencing kalau berusaha untuk jadi orang yang lengkap dan sempurna)
tapi setidaknya ada arah pengembangan diri yang mau dituju.
@gadiskota
aku bisa menangkap maksud dari kata-kata kamu,
sekedar nambahin, ga ada salahnya mengharap kebahagiaan dari orang lain untuk melengkapi kebahagiaan kita. :)
berbahagia sama-sama, adalah konsep dasar sebuah cerita asmara. ya toh ?
salam hangat,
8erz'06
"I'm happy as i can be, and i'm happy when you happy. But, if there is a chance that we can feel happy together, i will go fot it. Then, i will be the happiest man in the world."
lol
it's funny how a man thinks of these things. In my humble opinion, what a girl truly seeks are (some of them have been mentioned in ur essay) appreciation (aku bilang perempuan itu ingin dihormati sekaligus diapresiasi, while men often skulk with their pride alias dihargai), women seek tenderness which is often followed by security, incl. financial security, women search for someone to talk to, not merely one to kiss good night or to have a good sex, someone who's willing to share his thoughts and his life, his emotions, someone who needs her (when somebody needs you, there's no comfort like that. If u read those books talking about gender role and difference such as 'why men dont listen and women cant read maps', 'men are from mars, women are from venus', 'that's not whay I meant', etc, u'll find that there is a different emphasis between men's and women's needs and wants, one of them is that a man tends to seek appreciation in admiration form, or dependence, and gain security from his ability to provide for his woman, be it security, good financial life, etc., while a woman tends to want communicative life, interpresonal relationship, and gain security from self-in relation..and there is a theory that sex is more important to men than to women, while communicative activities like talking is more important to women than to their counterparts...i kinda believing it :) and it is said too that men need domestic support like cooking, washing dishes, etc..lol...and they need a friend for recreations...
i need a guy to laugh together, i need a guy to be personal, and of course, to have children too ;)
check these lyrics out
Artist: Az Yet
Song: Every Woman
Every woman needs her man
To hold her and protect and
Tell her that she's beautiful
And how she feels she understands
A man that will not leave her by
Will stand right by her side
So before you go just know that ever woman needs here"
her man, her man, her man
(help me say)
Every woman needs her man
To fight for her, die for her
Someone who will take the time
to place his heart inside of her
A man thats not afraid to say
Im sorry when he's wrong
So before you walk away just let me say
that lady needs her man.
(Repeat several times)
Her man
Bridge
(so rememeber to)
Tell her that you love her
(and that you)
Place no one above her
(and remind her)
Nothing we have will last
Always
(Oh and tell her)
Meant to be together
(and that I)
I will leave you never
(and I promise)
To stay with you forever
Untill my dying days ohhh
Every woman needs her man
Who'll be true
Who'll say i do
Even when the skies are gray
You know that God
Will bring 'em through
A man who understands that love
It don't come every day
So before you go just know that
every woman needs her man
ohhh ohh and tell her
Bridge:
Tell her that you love her
(and that you will)
Place no one above her
(and remind her)
Nothing we have'll last
Always
(Oh and tell her)
Meant to be together
(Ohh and tell her)
I will leave you never
(and i promise too)
Stay with you forever
Untill my dying days
ohhh
So before you go just know that every woman needs
So before you walk away jst let me say that lady needs
So before you go just know that every woman needs
her man.
It seems that
man and woman are created equal
except several different things physically just to support their specific function in this life
But basically their needs are equal
only each has some different function
When man needs woman
it is exactly as when woman needs man
both needs to beautify one-self
woman wants to look beautiful
and man wants to look georgeous
it is all the same basically
So their differences (in spite of their "specific" physical aspect)
were made by the community they live in
Go to Britain or to Padang
where you'll find women were higher
Go to India or Papua
where women were lowered
You've seen it's all man made world
and you'd have seen woman made world
It's all just depends on your perception
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